The idea is simple. Every Monday I will post my own memo to Kendall, a short open letter of sorts, a simple passive aggressive reminder.  Then I encourage you to do the same.  

In the comments section below, leave your own MFM to your child/children.  They can be funny or sweet, just keep them short-ish, and use this as a chance to really get it all out.  Have fun with it!

Every Tuesday a comment will be chosen at random by the Random Number Generator and that commenter will win a sweet prize from the week’s MFM sponsor.  That’s it!

Now, let’s do this thing…

This week’s Memos From Mommy is brought to you by Three Peas Co.  In the world of baby clothes, unique and trendy outfits for boys are hard to find in the sea of All Star, dinosaurs and dump truck adorned rompers.  Enter the urban chic apparel for boys at Three Peas Co.  This adorable guitar onesie from their Spring/Summer 09 line is probably the coolest thing Kendall has ever rocked out in.  And moms of little girls, don’t worry!  They have AWESOME outfits and accessories for the little ladies, too, including fun and fluffy pettiskirts!

The winner of this week’s Memos From Mommy, drawn at random on Tuesday, will win a $25 credit for ThreePeasCo.com.

Without further ado…

Now it’s your turn. Post away!

Sarah is the winner!  Here is her MFM.

To: Anna
From: Mommy

Memo: Because of the horrendous gastro-intestinal “prelude” to my labor with you, I am now beyond paranoid every time I have the runs that your sibling will be coming early. It is for this reason that I bought the wall primer today, not so that you could play percussion well beyond your bath time.
Additionally, although slightly disarming the first few times, your use of the phrase, “I NEED it!” with such appropriate inflection will not hurry any fetching, retrieving, or securing along. Sometimes my priority is driving safely over fishing Pablo off of the floor in the back of the car, and you are just going to have to accept that.
Self-sufficiency is the road to happiness. You can feel free to use that little pearl of wisdom when you misplace one of your binkies tonight at 2:37 a.m.. In fact, I encourage you.

Love,
Mommy

But, as the months went by, we became more conscience of our foul language usage in front of Kendall and at least made an effort to try not to make “fuck” every other word in our conversations.  It was just hard to be diligent when he clearly had so little grasp of language and how to use it.  It’s not like a six month old is going to know any better, right?  Well, as he got older, started crawling, pointing to things we got a little tougher on ourselves, but I can’t say we completely eliminated the word from our vocabularies.

It’s just so fucking useful. Like when that asshole on the toll road decides at the last minute that he needs to get in the farthest open lane so he can speed through the toll pass, and he cuts you off and you see you and your child’s life flash before your eyes – appropriate time to say, “Fuck you you fucking asshole!  Why don’t you quit being such a fucking dickhead driver!”

Another appropriate time to express your irritation with a potpourri of f-bombs?  When you get home from Ikea with a seemingly easy to hang, simple ceiling lamp, and proceed to spend the next 4 hours pulling your hair out and trying not to kill your husband because the stupid Swedish piece of shit won’t hang level. Couples therapy should be sold next to the checkout stands at Ikea (like magazines and gum are at grocery stores).  I bet it would be a great price.

So it was in the midst of trying to get this lamp up last night, while simultaneously trying to not kill each other, that I hear Kendall in the background saying his favorite word, “duck”.  It’s quite cute.  He loves ducks.  He will point to his rubber duckies and say “dck!” and he also correctly labels and identifies the bastard ducks at the pond that still won’t eat anything we throw at them.  And sometimes he will just call anything a duck….and sometimes it just sounds like “uck”…. Fuck.  He is just saying “duck” right?

Kendall is 11 months 3 weeks and 2 days old

Since I knew Home Depot would be a long trip (my husband was with us, need I say more?), I made sure to wear my Oh Plah! bracelet.  I’ve been wearing this, especially when shopping trips and doctors visits were on the agenda, for a few weeks now, and I love it!  Kendall has been a chewing, gnawing fool lately, with two molars finally breaking all the way through in the last week.  I love being able to take it off and give it to him to keep him occupied, and to keep him from chewing on less desirable things, like the buckles on the grocery cart straps.

And the Oh Plah! Isn’t just a cool, funky, functional piece of jewelry.  It’s also VERY eco-conscience and baby safe.  Made with NO BPA, Phthalates or PVC and of medical grade, non-toxic thermoplastic.  Even cooler, they will recycle it for you when you’re done with it.  Just send it back to the company, and never worry about it ending up in a landfill.  And huge kudos to them for the very minimal packaging.  

As far as the stylish factor goes, I think it’s pretty snazzy.  It’s comfortable to wear (very flexible), and doesn’t *look* like a teether.  It comes in a variety of colors.  Here I am wearing it at a “Rock & Roll” birthday party we attended last week.

I think Kendall loves it so much because it’s something that’s so obviously not a toy, and something that’s mine.  So when I take it off and give it to him to chew on, he’s delighted, almost as much as if I gave him my cell phone… at least for a little bit.  Clearly, the bracelet doesn’t light up and beep at him, but it must give him some strange satisfaction knowing that he managed to get something of mine to put in his mouth.

The Oh Plah! is made by Roundhouse Design Collaborative and retails for $19.99 – $24.99.  But, until June 30th, Baby Rabies readers can get 20% off with the code 409babrab20. Be patient, though.  Looks like I’m not the only one who loves this thing!  They’ve had so much interest in it that they are backordered until mid-late May.

My child “goes with the flow” like a Salmon swimming upstream to spawn.  To date, we have only been on 3 business trips with Scott, and each one of them we arrived via car.  We had grand plans to visit Colorado with him in February.  I was going to purchase a plane ticket for myself, seat my (at the time) 9 month old on my lap, and fly three hours, orchestrating our luggage, car seat, stroller and child all by myself to meet up with my husband for a one week “vacation” (as much as a week in Colorado in February can be considered a vacation).

Needless to say, I chickened out.  I had only been on a plane one other time with Kendall, and he was only 4 weeks old.  Don’t get me wrong.  That was an extremely overwhelming experience, but at least I could keep him contained and strapped to me the whole time in my trusty Moby Wrap.  He slept 90% of the time and didn’t have the ability to wriggle free from my arms and boogie down the aisle.  After I finally conveyed to Scott just how apprehensive I was, we both agreed that it would be best to hold off on flying for the time being.  It felt like the right decision, but it made me sad.  I don’t want our traveling options to be limited just because we are scared to fly with Kendall.

That was when I met Anya Clowers, RN and author of Jet With Kids.  She heard my cries for help on Twitter and chimed in with some wonderful advice (follow her @JetWithAnya).  She also sent me a copy of her book to read.  I wish I would have read it a long time ago!

From JetWithKids.com

Flying with children is not a simple thing to do. New airline security regulations and airports that are more crowded than ever can be tough to figure-out; add an infant or toddler to the mix, and you can see preparation has never been more important. With down-to-earth advice and recommendations from experts, Jet with Kids will prepare you for a safe andfun flight with your kids!

Inside you’ll find valuable information for your next trip:
¤	Is the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA’s) Lap Child policy safe?
¤	What 3 things do pediatricians recommend to pack for your flight?
¤	Which travel products lighten your load, entertain your child, and keep them well behaved?

The book was full of helpful tips for how to make that dreaded plane flight easier, whether it’s with a baby or a pre-schooler, domestic or international. The chapters take you step by step, from booking your ticket (with a very informational chapter on the pros and cons of purchasing a separate ticket for a child under 2), to preparing kids for the stressful process of boarding and deplaning.  

The seasoned traveler may find some of the tips to be common sense, but everyone can at least benefit from them as reminders.  The book also has a ton of great websites listed, though some of the links are a tad long to type into a browser and may be found quicker using Google.  Overall, still an excellent source of information for the family that plans on flying together anywhere at any point in their child’s early life.  This would also make an excellent baby shower gift for that jet-setting friend or a military mom.

In addition, Anya has a wonderful website www.JetWithKids.com, and she’s a delightful and valuable Twitter friend (she helped me get in touch with @Starbucks re: the changing table issue, which I hope to blog about soon).  She is also generously giving away 7 copies of Jet With Kids here!  Here’s how you can win:

4 copies will be given way via the Contest Machine.  Just fill out the information in the box below.

3 copies will be given to anyone who posts a comment and either
          a. leaves their own traveling with kids tip
          b. follows me on Twitter (@babyrabies), just leave your Twitter name in the comment telling me so
          c.  re-tweets this giveaway on Twitter (again, leave a separate comment telling me so)
          d. subscribes to my feed (separate comments for all of these, please)

Will draw on Wednesday, April 22 at 11:25 p.m. CST

You can also purchase the book from her website.  Regular price is $19.95, but readers can get $5 off with code JWK5

Good luck!

***** CONTEST IS CLOSED AND WINNERS CHOSEN ********

Contest Machine chose Kaitlin, Vanessa, Starrinad and Kim9212
Random Number Generator chose commenters 1, 10 and 26 (Emily, Katie and Lindsay)

Congrats!  You all have been contacted via email (and/or Twitter).  

Thanks to everyone for entering! 

I had one such amazing experience tonight when I had the honor of joining some great gal pals at my second Metroplex Baby and Kids Best and Hottest event.  And, while I didn’t come home with the biggest prize of the night (but who’s complaining?  I won a Quinny Zapp last Friday at their Stroller Safari!), I did have a blast hanging out with these ladies without a baby in sight.  Because, for me at least, the night wasn’t about winning the Best and Hottest prize.  It was about having an excuse to put on a cute skirt and top that had not a trace of juice or Mum Mums crusted on them, leave the house for a few hours, and just be a girl.

Not only did I have meaningful conversations about the joys of approaching toddlerhood and how to improve my cake decorating skills, but I also learned the most excellent parenting tip to date from my friend Teri.  Are you ready for this?

So…whiskey looks a little like apple juice, yes?  And one would normally put apple juice in a sippy cup, no?  So it would be totally normal to take a sippy cup full of a substance that looks just like apple juice into, say, a sporting event, right?  I mean, especially if you actually had a kid with you.  You see where I’m going with this.  Just make sure you don’t give them the wrong cup!

Then I got to thinking…we received these lovely Boon Squirt baby food dispensing spoons in our goodie bags, and seeing as how we are a little past this phase, I immediately thought, “hmm…how can I repurpose this and make it work for us?”  Well, you can see where I’m going with that, I’m sure.  Put a little Jack in there, mix it around in your coke.  It’s like a bartender in your diaper bag!

Maybe this will not be nearly as brilliant and hilarious to me when I wake up in the morning, but for now I can’t stop gigglesnorting.  It’s been a good night.  I’m drunk on laughter.  Isn’t that just the best?

Kendall is 11 months and 2 weeks old

Anyway, I just had to do a run by post to document that this day, tax day, April 15th, 2009, my son officially started walking!  Seems he likes to save these big milestones for holidays, I guess, what with pulling up and crawling on Christmas and now walking on such an ever important national holiday.

He took his first steps about 4 weeks ago at the first birthday party of my best friend’s little monkey…er… I mean boy.  That kid has been walking/running/leaping off of tall buildings since he was 9 or 10 months old, and the sight of his incredibly masterful mobility scared the hell out of me, frankly.  When Kendall saw him climb to the top of a coffee table and jump over to a couch, then reach his  little monkey arm down to help him up, he was obviously touched deeply by the challenge.  The very next day he just took off after him, five whole steps in a row before he had any idea what he was doing.

Also, in an effort to be just like his new found BFF, he took up thumb sucking, but just for that day.  Looks like we need to start preparing that speech about peer pressure, looking cool, and smoking because your best friend does (disclaimer – not in any way trying to equate thumb sucking with smoking, although, I’m sure there is a fortune to be made for the first successful inventor of the baby thumb sucking quitting patch).

However, since that fateful day, he has yet to walk again with such determination, just a few timid steps finished off by a face plant or butt drop.  Today, though…TODAY he decided to go for it, and he will not stop.  He started out with just a few teeters early this morning.  By the time I got around to making dinner tonight he was cruising around the kitchen from one appliance to the next, ever the tiny little drunk man, but so determined.  Much like one would look when trying to pass a roadside sobriety test, I imagine.

So I have now reached a whole new level of screwed and need to, once again, run around the house, testing all things at his eye level to make sure they won’t maim or kill him.  However, I have to say that I’m pretty freaking stoked.  Not only is this just huge in the life of my little baby, growing into a toddler, but it also means I’m one step closer to not risking throwing my back out any time I have to cart him on my hip anywhere.  There was a time I was in no rush for him to walk, I think he weighed at least 2 pounds less at that time.  Now…now I’m ready.

Kendall is 11 months, 1 week and 6 days old

This is what it was supposed to at least resemble.

What I am about to show you is proof positive that I should never be allowed near a can of frosting and red food coloring again.  

Did you know that red food coloring is a fucking joke?  It does not make the frosting red!  No.  It makes it a lovely shade of Barbie puked her brains out hot pink.  So, I think, maybe add more.  Nope.  Just makes it an even more vivid shade of the same putrid color.  This could not work. The rocket was to be blue and red.  But have no fear!  Red sparkles are here!  

Between the sparkles and the pink and the uneven frosting it really couldn’t get much worse.  That is until I brilliantly decided to cut out the picture of Kendall in the astronaut suit from his invite and place it under half an Easter Egg.  Are you laughing your ass off at me yet?  You should be!  I’m about to piss my pants.  OMG.  It’s tragic.  It’s terrible.  It’s hilarious!  Here’s a side view for you.

I do not think a few mental notes for next time are going to be enough to save this.  I’m pretty positive I will not be repeating this for his birthday.  A girl needs to know her limits, and while I may be able to whip up a crafty birthday banner and matching cupcake toppers, I sure as hell can NOT make and decorate a cake.  Of course, my eternally frugal husband just stood there, lying through his teeth, saying, “Jill, it’s FINE.  You did a GREAT job.  Why would you PAY someone to do what you already know you can do?”

I am calling a local bakery first thing in the morning.

Kendall is 11 months and 1 week old.

They each serve their own purpose.  The PPB is my everyday bag because it’s really spacious and lightweight.  The Coach is our long daytrip bag, because it’s even more spacious, but a tad heavy.  The daddy bag makes a lovely dust collector in the closet, and the Fleurville is a quick out and about bag since there is only room for one Bum Genius in there when I add all the other baby crapola to the mix.

So I sorta think I need another diaper bag like a hole in the head, but I don’t think I’ll have any problems making room in the collection for the Baggino Combination Diaper Bag-N-Changing Belt.  We had the chance to take it with us on our road trip to Houston last weekend and it didn’t fail to impress.

Admittedly, I was a tad hesitant to use it since it seems a little too organized for me.  I’m so used to having a giant bag/black hole that I just stuff all the crap into. The Baggino has no such black hole.  Instead it has pockets, pockets and more pockets!  There are pockets for everything, and just when I thought there were no more places to put the baby crap, I found more pockets.  

I was able to put 2 Bum Genius diapers and a wet bag in the spacious diaper compartment,  about 10 cloth wipes folded up in the instant access wipe compartment, and a tube of diaper cream in the removable pocket.  I loaded the third spacious compartment with a burp cloth and extra outfit, and then filled the baby food compartment with our Tiny Diner placemat, sippy cup and Snack Trap.  The pockets on the outside held Motrin, squirt bottle for the wipes, Hooter Hider, Boogie Wipes, my cell and my wallet.  It was a bit of a tight fit, but it worked!  And I KNEW where everything was.  No fishing around in the giant black hole to find the bottle of Motrin amidst the stray, stale Puffs scattered on the bottom.

Another *great* feature of this bag is the changing belt.  Basically, you can unzip the bag and wrap it around your waist, like a super duper fanny pack, and you’ve got all your diaper changing supplies right there. Wahlah!  It’s like you morph into a diaper changing super hero!  Best part is, it never once has to sit atop a nasty changing table or sink.  It stays on you the whole time.  This totally appealed to my husband’s germaphobe nature.  In addition, the changing pad that comes with it is pretty large.  You can watch a video and see it in action here.

I now deem this bag our “Travel w/stops at dirty truck stops and filthy airports and visits to Ikea” bag.  My only hesitation with using it as an everyday bag is that I just don’t trust myself to be so organized and I’m a tad bit attached to my black hole. However, for those of you who *are* organized and cringe at the thought of a massive expanse of unorganized mess in a bag, this could very well make a great every day bag for you. 

It’s for sale at Baggino.com for $149.  (This is also the company that makes the super cool Learner’s Bib!)

It stared late last week when I was doing the dishes.  I had Kendall blocked into the living room by the couch, ottoman, and some strategically placed chairs and yoga ball (that thing just continues to be useful).  He could see me over the bar, and would occasionally scream or grunt in my direction if I happened to make eye contact with him when he was not otherwise occupied by a curtain or the laundry basket.  I made it a point to ignore him, despite his increasing frustration with me and obvious boredom with the sea of mundane toys I scattered about to entertain him.  Clearly, he wanted out so he could come into the kitchen, climb into the dishwasher and suck on all the dirty dishes, but I was washing a cheese grater and knives this time around so that wasn’t going to fly.

All of the sudden, I was startled from my scrub, rinse, load trance by a sound I had never heard before.  It was so forceful, so purposeful, so loud, so undeniably the sound of my son screaming “MOM!” for the very first time.  I looked up in disbelief and then did what I probably wasn’t supposed to do in that situation.  I smiled, laughed, jumped up and down, and ran over and gave him a big hug.  I mean, this was huge!  I had never really even heard him babble any mmm sounds, and there he just busts out the most perfect, grown up sounding word he has ever managed to eek out.  We had a little celebration right there in the living room, and I put off finishing the dishes for the rest of the afternoon.

Obviously delighted by the response he got from me, he’s continued, and continued, and continued, to practice this word…over, and over, and over.  Anytime I step away from him he starts in on the rapid fire succession of “moms”.  He mixes it up with different intonations, various tones and volume levels.  If I’m standing, he crawls behind me, and hits the back of my legs, “Mahm…mom…MOhm…MAM..MOM!”  Each and every one of them a plea for something, not at all like the “Dah DA Dada!” noises he makes when he’s happy.  ”Dada” never sounds like “feed me!” or “I want to chew on that cord you just took away!”  My mom said it best when she told me yesterday that “mom” might as well mean “I want”, “I need”,  ”I’m tired”, “I’m sick”.

Ahhh…but it’s still delightful to hear.  Honestly, at this point I’ll take it any day over the screaming and grunting.  

Kendall is 11 months and 5 days old